he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
