i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
