I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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