that's an acceptable place to lick
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
