How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
