I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
