Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
