i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
