Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
