Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
