Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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