"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
