This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
