Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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