my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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