I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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