We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
