Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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