just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
