Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
