So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
