Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
