filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
