Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
