i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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