Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
