I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
