i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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