omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
