WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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