why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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