So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
