The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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