Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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