if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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