So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
