I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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