Fuck appropriateness.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
