i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
