wakey wakey hands off snakey
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
