There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
