I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
