Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
