Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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