My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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