sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
