I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
