question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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