Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
