I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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