I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
