We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
